New Year's resolutions suck – ask yourself these questions if you want to see actual results

Making a New Years resolution is the equivalent of a nagging relative who comes around during the holidays and tells you to get your life together – usually, all they do is make you feel like shit. Thanks Aunt Betty, but no thanks.

Often, we end up with the same resolutions, year after year, without much success. What we don’t tend to realise is that the process itself is flawed. New Year’s resolutions are functionally the same as if we were to choose a destination and try to get to there without any form of navigation. How are we supposed arrive without any sense of direction or mapped route?

Shifting our focus from attaining the result to asking the right questions gives us clarity. These insights help us understand the direction we want to move in.

Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.

-Tony Robbins

We are the creators of our craft; the alchemists of our lives. We have the ability to take the mundane and transform it into something of awe. All of the tension in our lives can be woven into beauty, just as the beauty in our lives can crumble under tension.

Vision, imagination and discipline can make miracles happen. While we cannot control the outer circumstances of our lives, our mindset is within our control.

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. – James Allen

Remember that life is about the journey, not the destination. Simply having a vague goal of “get fit” or “make more money” isn’t going to make you happier now. Try not to get too distracted by obsessing over the ultimate goal – experiencing progress and investing energy in the process is what brings fulfilment.

With this is mind, here are some transformative questions you can ask yourself to make 2020 your year of no fear:

What were your best and worst moments of 2019?
What experiences have made an imprint on you this past year? What can you do to commemorate the beautiful memories? What lessons did the difficult times teach you? How can you remind yourself of these lessons going into 2020? What would help you experience the most growth in 2020: strengthening your weaknesses or nurturing your strengths?

What do you want to change going forward?
Write a list of everything you would like to change in your life and separate them into two categories: things within your control, and things outside of your control. What are some small steps you can take to change the things within your control? What are some small steps you can take to surrender the grief that you hold, caused by things outside of your control?

Imagine – you are living your dream life.
You’re thriving financially – your relationships are flourishing, and you are exactly where you want to be. What is your life like? How do you connect with the people around you? What do you believe to be true about yourself? Describe this version of you.

What habits would this thriving version of yourself practice?
How can you start to bring these practices in your life today? What beliefs would this version of yourself have about wellness; finances; relationships; and fulfilment? How would this version of you approach challenging
decisions? How did this version of you conquer the fears and limitations that once held you back?

I would love to hear about your personal reflections and 2020 ambitions! Let’s chat in the comment section below, or send me an email me at

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: