Why You ‘Aren’t Where You Want To Be’

Do you feel like you’ve been running in circles trying to achieve the same goals? Why haven’t you seen results yet? Why have you been ‘stuck’ where you are?

Asking yourself these kinds of questions can be tough… the ego naturally takes things like this personally. But without questions like this, we don’t grow.

Before we jump in to some of the reasons why you might be stuck, it’s important to note that your outer circumstances are NOT a reflection of your value or self-worth. You are a boundless being – pieced together through particles of galactic space dust and stars. You are literally out of this world… and the only one making you believe otherwise, is your ego. (And the ego likes to fib!)

Here are some reasons why you aren’t where you want to be:

Self Sabotage

If you are holding onto disempowering subconscious beliefs, you might be pushing away what you desire.

What we desire, we also tend to fear. Financial success, a status of significance, a nourishing relationship & success of any form; these intrinsic desires might seem fulfilling to achieve, but the process of embarking on them comes with a lot of uncertainty. And, the unknown can be scary.

You may have unknowingly built walls or created a security blanket to protect yourself. On an unconscious level, you may be fearful of change or doubt that you’ll be able to handle success. Alternatively, you may have an unaddressed fear of failure, which could be halting you from taking action.

Self-sabotaging patterns you may recognise are procrastination, closing doors to new connections and opportunities, staying rigidly in your comfort zone or taking actions that are non supportive of your goals.

Take some time to explore any doubts you may have about your self. Are there any underlying fears that might be holding you back? If so, what are a few healthy ways that you can challenge these limiting doubts? What can you do to be proactive about unrooting the fears that are holding you back?


Anchors that are rooted in the past may be holding you back from being grounded in the present.

We are energetic beings in a physical reality. As we grow through life, we connect with countless people, places, things and moments. A lot of the time, we unknowingly create attachments. And naturally, it’s hard to move forward when you’ve got a foot stuck in the past.

To unroot the anchors of your past that no longer serve you, take some time to think about when and why these anchors were planted. Quite often, emotional attachments are forged because of a deeper underlying reason. Exploring the reasons for our desires and decisions can help us uncover and unhinge ourselves from the energetic attachments that no longer serve us.

Connecting with a counsellor, therapist or coach can have a significant positive impact on your journey. Don’t be afraid to seek support from a professional – remember, we are interdependent beings! And people who are devoted to these fields can guide you through deeper levels of healing and self-empowered transformation. If talking to a professional isn’t available to you at the moment, there are plenty of free resources available to help you do the ‘inner-work’. You can click this link to check out “You Are Infinite”, an e-workbook found in the mindset nourishment section of Soul Space.

Not Knowing Your ‘Why’

You might be trying to live out someone else’s legacy, not your own.

The goals you’ve set for yourself might not be aligned with what you actually desire. Theres a couple ways that this usually happens: your parents or peers may have unknowingly put their aspirations onto you and you’ve mistaken them as your own… or, your aspirations were formed formed by a past version of yourself that you are no longer aligned with.

Exploring the deeper reasoning of why you’ve set these aspirations for yourself gives you the power to revisit your game-plan and realign yourself with goals that match your heart-centred vision.

Knowing your ‘why’ (or why not) gives clarity and a deeper understanding of where you are, where you want to be and how you can get there. When goals are rooted in surface level meaning the outcome becomes surface level results. Taking time to develop a deeper self-knowing helps us tap into an internal source of energy that’s infinite in supply.

Journalling is a great way to explore your ‘why’. Start by asking yourself “When and why did I originally set these goals for myself?”. Once you’ve responded to that prompt, start a dialogue with yourself in a question-answer format. Try and allow yourself to explore all possibilities with an open mind, going as deeply as possible into each question and answer.

Inner Circle

The people you surround yourself with directly affect you. Are they raising you up, dragging you down, or keeping you stagnant?

Humans have survived in tribal networks since the beginning of time… we aren’t “lone wolves”. It’s been the power of synergy that’s helped us evolve to where we are today. Our relationships with our peers fulfil many primal needs like safety, belonging and connection. As much as we like to think of ourselves as independent beings we are actually very inter-dependent. People need people.

Connecting with people who share your values or aspirations is nourishing on every level. If the people in your life are not supportive of your visions and dreams, they’re probably holding you back or keeping you stagnant. But that doesn’t mean you need to cut them out of your life. Setting healthy personal boundaries that to support your needs and being proactive about nurturing your mind can help you reclaim your personal power.

Struggling to find like-minded souls to engage with? Books and podcasts are a great way to connect.


“Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in a decade.”

We are hardwired to get high off instant gratification – and it’s addictive. And in a world where instant gratification is at our fingertips, it’s natural to feel bummed out when we can’t see any success in our endeavours.

But here’s something important that we tend to forget: nature takes time to evolve. Theres quite a gap in time between planting the apple seed and seeing the apples. Every endeavour follows the universal laws of time and space. Everything in this reality takes patience and persistence to cultivate.

If you feel like you’re failing in an area of your life, this is a reminder that life is all about perspective. The experiences that you’ve been perceiving as failures hold the lessons you’ve needed to learn to grow into your next phase and up-level.

Breathing into your lower belly can help you ground yourself in the present and destress your nervous system. When you feel tension arise in your mind or body, take a few moments to re-centre your mind in the moment.

I hope you enjoyed this article! Feel free to share your thoughts below.

Published by Cassidy Holland

Holistic Health Coach Alternative Energy Healer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: