How to Navigate a Social Hangover – Understanding the Science of Post-Socializing Anxiety
Picture this: You’ve just had a fantastic day socializing with friends or colleagues. Laughter echoed, conversations flowed, and you felt connected and alive. As you finally settle down for the night, your mind starts to replay the events of the day. Suddenly, the warm glow of contentment gives way to a rush of anxiety. Did I say something wrong? Did I embarrass myself?
This phenomenon, commonly known as a social hangover, is more common than you might think.
Understanding Social Hangovers – Why Do They Happen
A social hangover occurs when your mind fixates on perceived social hiccups or awkward moments after a social interaction. It’s that unsettling feeling that creeps in just when you thought you were winding down for a peaceful night’s sleep. Psychologically, it often stems from our innate desire to belong and be accepted in social groups. When we think we might have said or done something that could jeopardize our social standing, our brain kicks into overdrive, replaying these moments in an attempt to process and make sense of them.
From a psychological perspective, this phenomenon can be linked to our evolutionary past. Humans are social creatures, and our survival once depended on our ability to maintain social bonds and avoid social rejection. Even in modern times, our brains are wired to scan social interactions for potential threats, which can manifest as overthinking and anxiety after socializing.
Social hangovers are like a defense-mechanism of the brain that can kick in at anytime… even when there isn’t anything worth worrying about.
Why Does It Happen?
Humans have a natural tendency to focus on negative experiences (known as negativity bias), meaning that even minor perceived social mistakes can loom large in our minds. Secondly, social comparison plays a role; we often compare ourselves to others and worry about how we measure up in social situations. On top of that, perfectionism often set us up for disappointment when things don’t go exactly as planned.
Physiologically, the release of stress hormones like cortisol during social interactions can also contribute to heightened sensitivity to perceived social missteps. And, we usually only become aware of these changes once everything quiets down and we’re trying to relax.
Practical Tips for Handling a Social Hangover
Reflect Constructively
When you find yourself replaying social interactions in your mind, turn it into a constructive exercise. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, ask yourself what you could learn from the experience. Reflect on your interactions with curiosity rather than criticism. Maybe there were moments where you genuinely connected with someone or handled a tricky conversation well. Reflecting constructively helps to shift your focus from self-criticism to personal growth, building your confidence over time.
Embrace Awkwardness
Let’s face it – social situations are often awkward. Embrace the awkwardness as a normal part of human interaction. When you accept that not every moment will be smooth and perfect, you free yourself from unrealistic expectations. Embracing awkwardness means being okay with moments of silence, misunderstandings, or even the occasional social faux pas. It’s about recognising that everyone experiences these moments and that they’re opportunities for learning and connection, rather than sources of anxiety.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts after socializing are like weeds in a garden – they can choke out the positive experiences if left unchecked. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself for evidence to support them. Often, our minds blow things out of proportion or focus only on the negative aspects of an interaction. Instead, consciously look for evidence that contradicts these thoughts. Did anyone else seem bothered by what you said or did? Did you notice positive reactions or moments of genuine connection? Challenging negative thoughts helps to balance your perspective and reduce unnecessary anxiety.
Feeling a bit down after socializing is normal, but it’s a chance to develop your mindset.
Instead of getting caught up in what went wrong, use it as a time to think about how you can do better next time. Reflect on your interactions kindly and ask yourself: What can I learn from this? How can I improve?
See these moments as steps towards building better connections with others. Everyone has awkward moments – it’s part of life. By seeing these times as opportunities to learn and grow, you’ll feel more confident in future social situations.
Remember, feeling this way shows you care about your relationships. Embrace this journey with patience and kindness towards yourself. Each step you take to understand and improve how you connect with others brings you closer to forming deeper and more meaningful relationships. So, next time you feel a bit off after socializing, think of it as a chance to learn and strengthen your social skills.
Grounded growth. Practical strategies.
If you enjoyed this blog, you might also like:
How Judging Others Can Sabotage Your Success
We all find ourselves being a bit judgy from time to time, but could these judgements be affecting our goals and outcomes? In this blog, we’ll explore how your tendency to criticise others might actually be blocking your path to success.
Discover more from Soul Space
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Soul Space 